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When i am the Prime Minister

July 3, 2008

News Alert!, 5 July 2008: Raja Petra of Malaysia Today news portal ( or has been told to report to the Sentul police station this evening at 5.30pm. And on a Saturday, too? i smell a rat.

i am really pissed off and impatient that the government of the day is not doing its job. By its inaction, it is allowing the country to waste away day by day. Just look at what is happening around us and you’d think it a miracle we have survived thus far. What with all these mindless sodomy, statutory, screwy declarations and what-have-you flying left, right and center at our faces!

But time is running out.

Of course, the people are looking to one person whom we call our leader to do the decent right thing. But it looks like the one that we currently have will forever be clueless. And no one in his cabinet seems to have any idea as to what to suggest to the poor sot what he should do.

If, after an extensive and exhaustive search for the illusive one still finds us wanting, and no one has the gumption to tell our CEO to take a hike and take over the business of seriously running the country, i am sacrificing myself for the toughest job in the world.

i know i will not have the luxury to doze off as and when i like but, heck, someone has to do the job, right?

Read what i will do for the people, king and country when elected as Prime Minister. See if you will find them appealing enough for you to give me your support.

Here are just some of the immediate actions i will take. Please understand, i cannot share all my ideas here just in case someone steals from me. Here goes …

1. i will appoint reliable and capable Malaysians of any hue, any discipline, any political party, any gender (in short, anyone i know who can do the job) to form the cabinet as long as they are not corrupt, racist, cronyistic and nepotistic.

2. i will reduce the price of petrol to RM1.00 per litre.

3. i will reform the judiciary, the police and the civil service – necessarily in this order.

4. i will reinstate the Constitution back to its original form, the same document that first ensured our country’s independence from the British colonialist.

5. i will give the guilty ones the opportunty to voluntarily return 90% of all the stolen cash, land, properties and resources that belong to the people and the country.

6. i will prosecute those who did not take advantage of point number 5 even if my parents and grandparents were involved.

7. i will abolish the ISA, the OSA and all the other A-ending Acts that are stifling and unnecessary.

8. i will re-nationalise our public utilities that involve water, electricity, telecommunications, roads and highways.

9. i will make the provision of healthcare the sole responsibility of the government.

10. i will re-introduce and implement the New Economic Policy in its original form and to the letter.

11. i will abolish all independent schools that teach in the languages of the mother-tongues of Malaysians and incorporate them as part of the curriculum in all the National-Type Schools.

12. i will mandate free education for all Malaysian citizens up to university level.

13. i will eradicate hardcore poverty affecting our citizens wherever they may live in the country.

14. i will make Petronas and the Anti-Corruption Agency report to and answerable to Parliament.

15. i will revamp our public transportation to be better than our neighbour down South.

16. i will revive our agricultural sector and give it serious priority and no one can hijack the fertilizers meant for the farmers.

17. i will outlaw all race-based political parties, policies and statements.

18. i will make it unlawful for the government of the day to withhold development funds to opposition-held states.

19. i will insist on the rule of law and no one is above the law including myself as the Prime Minister.

20. i will dictate that the cabinet ministers, including myself, will rely on public transport for all their commuting for one whole week every month. And once a week they must eat and drink at different public places and mingle with the rakyat and pick up the tab.

Enough. i should stop now before i give too much away to the competition.

  1. lil kid permalink

    warh….it sounds tremendous…if only *they* could do it…aiks

    – They may not be able to do it but my cabinet will deliver because the ministers will be hand-picked by me. TQ. –

  2. peng permalink

    Then you have my vote.

    – Thank you for your support, peng. The wink will not help to get you into the cabinet. Very sorry. ;) –

  3. The Best show on earh…

    *WHo is the Mole?*

    Saiful 1st work in DPM office

    Then work as PKR volunteer

    No the victim of sodomize

    CGPA of 0.8, that’s near to impossible score.

    P.balasubramaniam, a mole? or revealing the truth now?

    We The Rakyat really need to work together, be smart!

    – Many words ‘spoken.’ But do i get your vote or not, Edi神? :) –

  4. longman permalink

    you got my vote bro…

    – Many thanks for your support, longman. :) –

  5. Malaysia 64 permalink

    MALAYSIA BOLEH bro! But mesti ada kuasa, duit dan rasuah banyak-banyak and amoi cun jangan lupa? saya sokong 250%

    – Saya terima sokongan saudara tetapi saudara tak dapat jadi menteri dalam cabinet saya oleh kerana akal saudara ada sikit tak kena, lah. ;) –

  6. Tell yer what bro, we’ll brainstorm with Haris at Bloghouse on the 5th coz some or all that yer mentioned above was part and parcel of “The People’s Voice and Declaration” document which was endorsed by members of PR prior to GE12.

    And yer can expect some YBs to get an earful from that wild man from the legal fraternity.

    Besides, I still prefer “Barisan Rakyat” mah!

    P.S. Maybe I’ll get an earful if ‘H’ reads this.. Ouch!

    – Don’t worry, when both of you are in my cabinet the problem will solve itself. ;) –

  7. new friend permalink

    yes you have my vote and I am going to sacrifice my comfortable life in a small kampong to be a member of your cabinet.

    – Let me have your bio asap. ;) –

  8. Nice one.

    Would like to feature your blog post in our news website,please at

    All the best

    – Permission granted. –

  9. tehsin permalink

    Wah….where do I go to vote!

    – Hmm, why didn’t i think of that. ;) –

  10. Hi ewoon,
    Great try !
    My vote is yours !
    In no time you will be surrounded with “rent seekers”
    screaming ” HIDUP EWOON ”
    Once you get used to it, alas, you will be drawn to the current practices without a second thought.
    I shall be your first crony.
    H I D U P E W O O N H I D U P E W O O N H I D U P E W O O N

    – Thank you for your support, Rajan. –

  11. You will have my support on most points. However, being a citizen of Malaysia and all, I would insist that you have a fair discussion and debate with the good people we vote into Parliament over the points you propose.

    Fair deal?

    – Done. –

  12. Heh… I’m sold. When can I volunteer to be your campaign manager? But err, to limit damage to your otherwise pristine reputation, may I humbly suggest Sir, that we hire a P.I., preferably ex- SB, to ensure none of those in your circle are of the ‘susceptible’ kind. Oh, we are all susceptible Sir, an some of us has personalities bordering on the anal, Sir.


    – The job is yours when i have garnered enough votes. Then please proceed to do the necessary. ;) –

  13. I think this is great! well i think one more thing is to develop a single thinking as Malaysians instead of different races. ewoon… I will support you all the way! and yes WE MUST SHOW OUR BROTHERS down SOUTH THAT WE TOO CAN BE BETTER!

    – With your support, we won’t fail. Thank you. ;) –

  14. we ran out of credible leaders!!!

    Who should we look up to?

    Hantu Laut?

    Only GOD can save msia now…

    Blogger also gone MAD! What will the gomen do if they go strike? They think najib will invite them to Najib house? Stupid!

    People Like RPK are hard to come by… RPK for PM!

    – Looks like i am not getting your vote. i hope RPK will offer himself as a candidate for your sake. Bye. –

  15. Wah, so serious meh?
    Why don’t you just go and beat up the Prime Minister?
    I heard you’re pretty handy with your fists.

    – To beat up the PM would be undemocratic and a criminal offence. To neutralise an operative is a different story. Have you also heard i trained Rambo to be the one man army he’s become? Muah, ha, ha, ee yah! –

  16. Very amusing.
    You make it sound so easy.
    You should write a “How to become a great Prime Minister for Dummies” book and hand it to Badawi.
    And yea, i’ll vote.

    – Thanks for the idea for the book. Meanwhile our PM is welcome to my thoughts here. It is easy when one has the will to do things without fear or favour and provided one does not have a baggage of corrupt practices which can backfire on the person. Me, i am as clean as a whistle. All i need now is enough support. Thanks for visiting. –

  17. Rammers permalink

    pasti nya satu vote dari saya untuk anda bro…all the best…

    – Ribuan terima kasih keatas sumbangan anda. –

  18. .jpg permalink

    Hey ewoon, justin here. From all the things you have written here, you can easily do a better job then our current one. You have my vote!

    – Bless your heart, my man. Can you help with this campaign? It seems to be grinding to a halt. hahaha –

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